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~AlizarinCrimson

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About Me Member Pseudo-Intellectual AlizarinCrimsonFemale/Canada Recent Activity Deviant for 4 Years
Needs Premium Membership Statistics 11 Deviations
82 Comments
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Journal Entry #4

Thu Nov 17, 2005, 4:55 PM
Shut up. I know I haven't been on in forever. But this is me. I disappear randomly... this time maybe because I just can't seem to draw. I don't know. There was a time in my life were drawing was the only thing I did, where writing was the only thing I did but now... I don't know. It seems as if it's not important anymore to me... but it is...

I don't know. The past months have been torture for me in a way I have not known torture. Everything that I thaught I knew about me, thing's that were rock soild. Have faded and crumbled into nothing. Everything. Even the way I "self-destuct" per say has changed.
I mean, I have been one of those angsty teenage cutters since before I even was a teenager. I just came to accept it as part of who I am... now... now... I don't want to say it because it sounds so vile and hurtful and even worse and I fear if I say it it will become my reality and I don't want it too. You must understand, I don't want to be so hung up on the amount of calories I eat like I am. I don't want that damn scale to determine how good my day will be. If the number is lower I am exstastic but the slightest gain makes me feel worthless.
I don't like accepting that right now.
And the drawing thing too, I just assumed it would always be there but it too seems to have left me almost. My hand just doesn "work" properly anymore.

Please tell me this is normal for my age and it will pass.
1 Comment | Previous Journal Entries

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Somewhere with electricity, running water and a half decent school-system
  • Interests: Gossiping, Air Hockey, Desperate Houswives, Drawing (er... duh?), fixing my computer, Math
  • Favourite movie: The Interperter
  • Favourite band or musician: Garbage, Delta Goodrem, E*Nomine
  • Favourite genre of music: Alternative, Folk-Pop, the odd techno song
  • Favourite poet or writer: Lolita Pille (she's so incredibly talented)
  • Favourite style of art: Eh, anything that looks good.
  • Operating System: Windows XP
  • MP3 player of choice: IPod (once I finished begging my parents to get it for me >>;)
  • Wallpaper of choice: One of the Tenthausend fractals I made myself when I'm bored
  • Favourite gaming platform: Game Boy. Because that's the only Game Platform I own.
  • Personal Quote: "You know you love me."
  • Tools of the Trade: My huge, cluncky, multi-functional, beeping digtal watch that scares people =D!

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Comments


:icongh-mongo:
`GH-MoNGo Mar 10, 2007, 10:05:41 PM
You're a fugitive pigment! :crying:

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Avatar by =neekko
Help||*watercolorists||#traditional
:iconred-handed:
~red-handed Nov 15, 2005, 3:00:28 PM
:boogie:

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:skull: :evillaugh: :skull:
please excuse my split personality
*Dark-Arts-Asylum Registered Visitor Badge # 43
:skull: :evillaugh: :skull:
don't you like my 3 dots ...
:iconthespringmagician:
~TheSpringMagician Nov 5, 2005, 5:27:30 PM
Hey, Kenny - you're subscribed until Nov. 12th! Cool! :D *throws balloons all over you*

--
Quote:
:batty: When life gives you cookies - eat them. :batty:
~TheSpringMagician
______________________________ ___________________________

Clubs:
~AndroidCyborgFans | ~the-17-club
:iconred-handed:
~red-handed Oct 25, 2005, 6:42:50 AM
just dropping in again

--
:skull: :evillaugh: :skull:
please excuse my split personality
*Dark-Arts-Asylum Registered Visitor Badge # 43
:skull: :evillaugh: :skull:
don't you like my 3 dots ...
:iconthespringmagician:
~TheSpringMagician Oct 4, 2005, 5:18:16 AM
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Send to 10 of your friends to show
them how much luv u have for them. If u get this back it means u r luved 2x as much

**

Well, your motto is 'you know you :heart: me' :D

--
Quote:
:batty: When life gives you cookies - eat them. :batty:
~TheSpringMagician
______________________________ ___________________________

Clubs:
~AndroidCyborgFans | ~the-17-club
:iconalizarincrimson:
~AlizarinCrimson Oct 5, 2005, 12:34:26 PM
:glomp: :hug: I'm risking sounding like Paris Hilton but, THAT IS HOT (and just for the record, I was saying that in German before she even invented it).

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You know you :heart: me
:iconthespringmagician:
~TheSpringMagician Oct 5, 2005, 2:53:54 PM
Cool :lick:

--
Quote:
:batty: When life gives you cookies - eat them. :batty:
~TheSpringMagician
______________________________ ___________________________

Clubs:
~AndroidCyborgFans | ~the-17-club
:iconred-handed:
~red-handed Sep 12, 2005, 6:01:22 AM
just stopping by

--
:skull: :evillaugh: :skull:
please excuse my split personality
*Dark-Arts-Asylum Registered Visitor Badge # 43
:skull: :evillaugh: :skull:
don't you like my 3 dots ...
:iconnyneko:
~NyNeko Sep 5, 2005, 3:26:43 PM
thanks for stopping by :hug:

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"I'll try to be nice if you try to be smart" -^budgie
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I Support Making Art ThievesCry
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:iconalizarincrimson:
~AlizarinCrimson Sep 5, 2005, 3:31:00 PM
Welcome =D!

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You know you :heart: me
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